Decision Delusions

2022 is winding down, my mates, so it is time to begin brainstorming all of the resolutions we will decide to, publish proudly on Fb, after which quietly renege on by Valentines’. To not accomplish that could be positively UNAMERICAN, so let’s get began!

Simply keep in mind: The ol’ “higher weight loss plan and extra train” routine is BO-RING. No person cares should you ever match into your faculty denims once more, mkay? So why not give us one thing with a bit of extra zip? Somewhat extra pizazz? Somewhat extra “yahoo and the way?”

You already know, like: 

– Higher bowel habits.

Or consuming much less booze. Actually, this cake works for each.


– Change into a vegetarian

That is at all times a hip, occurring sort of selection – in contrast to utilizing the phrases “hip” and/or “occurring.” And should you want a bit of incentive:

Thaaaat oughta do it.

 (The baker despatched this to me herself, btw, so do not suppose I am being imply by leaving that watermark on. And sure, it is SUPPOSED to be bloody fried hen. So talking as somebody who actually likes fried hen, I would wish to want a pox on the home of Jen’s Just Desserts – whereas absolutely realizing the overwhelming irony of the identify.)


For a extra mental New 12 months’s aim, how about:

– Go to varsity

Clown faculty completely counts. Plus it is excellent for anybody who hates kids*!


Here is one we are able to all aspire to: 

– Be extra supportive of mates and family members:

‘Nuff stated.


Or, lastly, in 2023:

– Do not be afraid to confess if you’ve made a mistake.

 In any case, there is not any disgrace in admitting if you’re fallacious.

There are, nevertheless, sure web site audiences which can get an actual kick out of it.


Due to Anony M., Jen R., Diana, Michelle B., & Sarah G. for the recommendations. Personally, I feel I am going with “play extra video video games” and “go away the home extra.” You, uh, do not suppose these two will intrude with one another, do you? o.0

*I say this as a former clown who does, in actual fact, have a robust dislike of kids. (Hey, do not choose ’til you have seen a roving pack of unsupervised kids descend upon a single clown bearing a bag of sweet, okay? They’re animals. ANIMALS, I let you know!)