Creepy Clowns vs Creepy Boobs: We Report, YOU DECIDE

Enjoyable Truth: I can not stand horror motion pictures, however I really like – LOOOOVE – creepy truffles.

I am not speaking deliberately creepy stuff, like zombies or gore or “Child Bump” truffles – no, I imply those {that a} baker completed, checked out, and thought, “Yeah, that is fairly cute.“

I am instructed that is some type of clown.

I am additionally instructed {that a} Hitler joke right here will “get us in a lot hassle are you freaking kidding me babe NOOOO.” So by no means thoughts.

Youngsters might be creepy sufficient* as it’s, bakers, so please, STOP HELPING:

[*True Story: One time John and I were meeting with a fan at a busy restaurant, and the table next to us parked their stroller – which had a beautiful little boy in it – right across from me. The toddler had ice blue eyes and a slack, deadpan expression, and proceeded to stare at me. The entire. Time. Then John and the reader left to get drinks, leaving me alone with Baby Demon Eyes, and I kept trying not to notice, but every time I glanced over he was STILL STARING, like he was trying to mind-control me into stealing everyone’s souls and/or chocolate, and his parents were totally oblivious, and I started to freak out, and long story short, I’m afraid of babies now.]

Animal Safari Cake Claims Newest Sufferer:

Fast! Someone throw the newborn a rope! Until he will not cease gazing you!

Talking of staring:

Dang, Woody. You creepy.

However even that plastic menace is about to be eclipsed by the funky cake bazoongas of 1 not-quite-life-sized Dolly Parton cake:

I fear about her structural integrity, you guys. Like, she might topple over any second and smother you together with her cakey enjoyable baggage. Which I suppose is type of like actual life? Solely extra awkward, as a result of in actual life you in all probability would not ever should lick off Dolly Parton’s boob smears, and wow did that go someplace I did not need to go quick.

[side eye]

[awkwardly sidles out of the room]

Due to Nisha T., Niki R., Paula, Tenley H., & Summer season S., who agree we must always all cease enthusiastic about licking Dolly Parton’s boobs now. Cease it. Cease it. STOP IT.

*****

P.S. Talking of boobs, here is a shout-out to my favourite wire-free bra:

Warner’s Easy Does It Seamless Wireless Bra

 That is the ONLY bra I put on now, y’all. I really like the under-arm smoothing panel – no dig or pinch! – and like most Warners, these are extremely comfy. I watch the itemizing and purchase any shade that goes beneath $20, so test all of them in your measurement! (I am a 34DDD and put on a Giant, if that helps.)

 Oh, and you’ll want to test the picture gallery for a greater thought of how they give the impression of being on bigger tracts of land.